Couples Therapy

Relationship work is a particular passion of mine. Our closest relationships matter enormously to us, which is why they can bring out such strong reactions. Couples often come to therapy after months or years of repeating the same arguments, leaving both partners feeling frustrated, misunderstood, or disconnected.

I'm interested in what's happening underneath those arguments. Someone who seems angry may actually feel hurt or unimportant. Someone who shuts down may feel overwhelmed or afraid of making things worse. Often, both partners are trying to protect themselves or the relationship, but end up pushing each other further apart.

In couples therapy, I help partners slow down these interactions to better understand themselves and each other. An important part of the work is helping each person identify what they're feeling and needing, and communicate it in a way their partner can truly hear.

I draw from several approaches, including the Gottman Method, but my primary approach is Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). Developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, EFT is a structured, evidence-based approach grounded in attachment theory: the understanding that feeling secure and connected in our closest relationships matters deeply.

What draws me to EFT is its focus on helping partners feel emotionally safe with each other. Communication skills can be useful, but they're often hard to use when you feel hurt or disconnected. EFT helps couples address those feelings and build a stronger sense that they can turn to each other for understanding and support.

The goal isn't to eliminate disagreement, but to make room for it without losing your connection. Learn more about Emotionally Focused Therapy from ICEEFT.

Is couples therapy only for couples in crisis?

Not at all. Some couples come in because they're in significant distress, while others are doing reasonably well but notice patterns they don't want to become more entrenched. Couples therapy can also be useful during transitions such as getting married, becoming parents, or adjusting to other major changes.

When is the right time to start couples therapy?

There isn't one right time, but you don't need to wait until the relationship is in crisis. If you're having the same arguments repeatedly, feeling increasingly distant, or finding that conversations about certain subjects rarely go well, it may be useful to come in and look at what's happening between you.

What should we expect a session to be like?

My couples sessions are structured but not rigid. We'll often take a recent moment of conflict or disconnection and slow it down together. I'll help each of you pay attention not only to what you said or did, but to what was happening emotionally and how each person's response affected the other.

Over time, the goal is for both of you to become better at recognizing the pattern as it's happening, understanding what you're feeling, and communicating it to each other more clearly. Sessions typically run 55 minutes and take place weekly, especially in the early stages of the work.

What if my partner doesn't want to come to couples therapy?

This is common. Individual therapy can sometimes be a useful starting point if your partner isn't ready to come in. Relationships work a bit like a dance, and when one person begins responding differently, it can affect the pattern between both people. Individual therapy can also help you understand your own part in the dynamic, get clearer about what you want, and think about how to talk with your partner about the relationship.

My Partner Refuses to Go to Couples Therapy. What Do I Do? | Psychology Today

What if we're not sure whether we want to stay together?

I offer counseling for couples who are unsure whether to stay together. These sessions help you gain clarity and confidence about your next step, without pressure to choose either outcome.

I also offer separation counseling for couples who have decided to end their relationship. We make space to understand what happened between you and process the feelings around the ending. We can explore what each of you wants afterward, whether that's contact, friendship, a different kind of connection, or more distance, while keeping care for each other and any children involved. This is emotional work, not mediation or legal advice, and it isn't a setting for negotiating financial, legal, or other practical arrangements.